When women come together, we create magic. Right?
When I created #HelpAQueenOut just over a year ago, my priority was to bring together women. Community has been at the forefront of my mind since I realised how much we benefit from it as a collective. I realised that, absolutely, we can embark on our quest for success as individuals and achieve the goals we put on our vision boards. We are incredibly capable, women, of achieving everything and anything we set out minds to. But over the years I have grown and blossomed into a strong and powerful woman, who was nurtured every step of the way by the sisterhood in my immediate circles.
Since embracing the goodness that comes from sharing supportive women-only spaces, I have been intentional about creating the same experience for other women. I’ve grown so much, my life is beautiful and for the most part, I feel great about it, and I believe that I can achieve anything and everything I want to – and this level of self-knowledge and self-belief I want to gift to other women.
The blogging world is phenomenal right now and with social media, it is easy to develop connections with people who share similar interests. But with regular names popping up on my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook feeds, I’m learning quickly to form friendships with those I see post consistently.
The idea of a collaboration has posed itself to me over the years. I’ve given it a try, collaborated on an event, a book and even a blog I launched, although none of it was long-lasting. I’d gone into it wholeheartedly and learned some unexpected lessons. People say that it’s Birmingham, that the people in this city don’t support anyone or anything, and as a result, even the greatest of projects dwindle and die. This is why the rush to London is so immense for creatives because they don’t have faith that they’ll find success in the second city.
I argued this fact for a long time, but eventually, I felt the doubts of my fellow Brummies climb in. I realised that there is a shared sense of scarcity thinking, resulting in people ‘stealing’ ideas and taking offence at the success of other people. I had to acknowledge it when my social media insights showed me that my biggest following is in London because these statistics don’t lie. But then a recent post on Black British Bloggers Facebook group opened up the opportunity for a collaboration and I put myself forward. Within days, I was contacted by the beautiful soul that is Dominique of MelaninMindSoul and, well, the rest is history.
We were less than 30 seconds into our conversation before I picked up on the familiarity of another Birmingham accent. And while we spoke about all things business, blog and Birmingham, at its core it was simply just wonderful to connect with another creative woman. Though we were and likely still are strangers, the universal bond of sisterhood gave us an understanding to each other. It needn’t be said, but there was an element of “I see you sis” in our dialogue, an unspoken agreement that we are in full support of each other. And that right there is sisterhood.
It’s not often I’ll speak on the phone, even to family or friends, but I found my anxieties drowned by a feeling of intrigue, eager to learn more about Dominique’s quest for success. While we were both new at collaborating on blogs, we talked until it became clear on what to do next. Through the warmth of Dominique’s personality, I discovered a funny and genuine Queen who is taking time out to think about what she wants to do with her life. She’s at a stage where 30 is fast approaching and she’s reassessing her contribution to the world, and its impact on her happiness. She’s at a point where she’s ready to pursue purpose over popularity and prepared to gather her knowledge, skills, and resources to give back to the wider community. And this, among many other areas, is where we connected.
I came away from our conversations feeling uplifted and motivated to do more. It’s true that as women we carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, and often feel like we’re never doing enough. But sometimes, in all of that, it helps to share your hopes and dreams with a fresh pair of ears so they can advise and encourage you in ways you haven’t already had access to. I have been blessed throughout my creative career to have been supported by women who want nothing more than to see me succeed, but how nice it is to receive that same level of respect and support from someone who isn’t already connected with me. That unspoken code of sisterhood really can go a long way, if you’re willing to put your ego aside while you embrace it.
I’m looking forward to sharing with you the contents of our conversation in Part 2 of this post, but until then I’d like to pose a few questions to you:
Where does sisterhood play a role in your life? What do you take from it? How do you contribute to it?
Graphics designed by Annika Spalding. Photos provided by Melanin Mind & Soul.
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