Let’s be real for a minute: we all get jealous. Even I do. Yeah, I said it.
We live in a generation where we know more about people than we ever did. Social media acts as a close-up view into anyone’s life, but also gives them the power over how they are portrayed.
I’ve said before that social media is a highlight reel, and there is often much more going on behind the scenes. I remind myself of this whenever I catch my insecurities taunting my ego because someone else did something amazing.
I’m all for sharing the spotlight. Honey, this success thing wasn’t just made for me. I know and accept that, and in practice, I don’t operate from ego because I know there is room for us all. And for the most part, my insecurities stay locked away because I know that someone else’s success is not a personal attack on me. Ego will tell me otherwise but for the most part, common sense prevails.
However, I’m only human and there are times when I feel those twinges of jealousy and resentment, which cause me to stop and look at my own life. I know better than to project my own issues onto someone else, especially as I’ve been on the receiving end of that before. I know when I feel this way, I have to look inwards and identify what it is about my life I am unhappy with and work out a plan to make improvements.
But in true blogger style, I thought I’d share some tips with you! I am definitely not the only person in the world who recognises this in herself, and hopefully not the only person in the world who is open to addressing it.
Here’s how you can get started:
It is what it is. No matter how you dress it up, dismiss it or respond to it, you getting mad about someone else’s success has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. They are literally minding their own business and reaping the rewards of that focus, and rather than be happy for them, you allow yourself to be consumed by negativity. Let’s call it what it is: jealousy. Now we can move on.
Rather than hating on someone else for everything they have, why not take inspiration from them? If someone appears more confident than you, why not practice affirmations or take a confidence-building class? Look inwards, have a good old look at yourself. What do you feel you’re not great at? Why do you feel like you aren’t good enough? Remind yourself that the difference between someone else winning at life and you is self-belief. Perhaps it’s time for you to work on boosting you.
Make a change.
Okay, so you’ve identified that you’ve got a hint of jealousy floating around (congratulations, you’re human!) and you’re determined that you don’t want to let it grow. Awesome. You’ve decided to take inspiration from that person (you know who I’m talking about) and make your life so amazing that you aren’t distracted by anyone else. Brilliant. I find this is the perfect time to stop moping about and take action. Write a list of five things you can do to bring you closer to where you want to be. It doesn’t have to be five huge tasks, slow and steady will get you there. And once you see that progress? You’ll be happier.
Everything isn’t as it seems. No matter how much a person posts on social media, how happy they sound in their podcasts, how good they look in their videos, you don’t actually know what is going on behind the scenes. I am not suggesting anything sinister could be going on, however, I wouldn’t dismiss that idea. Perfect-looking people with 100k followers on Instagram can experience crippling anxiety and depression, and you’d never know. That gorgeous hunk of a man who posts pro-women quotes could actually be a womaniser and using his authority to proposition new conquests. And alternatively, the person who posts the dodgy photos and has a weird online humour could actually have the biggest heart and be the coolest person you’ve ever met if you gave them a chance. My point is, we all have parts of us that we hide. We don’t share everything, no matter how many people claim they do. Everything looks amazing when you’re on the outside looking in. Someone could be looking at you and your life, thinking you have it all and wishing they had even a part of it, and you wouldn’t even know.
Let it go.
If you want to move forward in life, you have to let go of negativity. Holding onto a feeling of resentment will only hold you back and weigh you down. Remind yourself that you get more of what you focus on, so focus on the things that will bring you happiness. Obsessing over someone else will not bring you the results that obsessing over yourself can. Get tunnel vision and create the life you want. But you can only do that if you choose to accept jealousy for what it is, address it and let it go.
Remind yourself of this: Another person’s success is not intended to be a personal attack on you. Hold onto that for a minute. Let it sink in.
It’s okay to feel like this because we do need balance. However, it is a choice to stay feeling like this. Get rid of scarcity thinking, there are enough rewards and blessings out there for all of us. Choose not to feel jealous, choose to celebrate instead.